What keeps me going? It doesn't get any more real than this...

Last week I snuck into Zane's room during his nap and since it was getting to be time for him to get up soon anyways, I took the opportunity to snap a few shots of the sleeping boy without worrying that I would awaken him. I encourage all parents out there to do the same to their own kids. I just love all the sleeping photos I have taken of him since he was born. I have quite a few and I imagine I will try and do it forever. Even when he is 16. I don't care if he gets mad at me. They just make me so happy and they give me such a feeling of peace. It doesn't get any more real.

Random things from yesterday to be thankful for...

A yummy lunch that I had enough energy to prepare myself full of fresh, organic veggies (spinach feta salad) and yummy hummus, pita chips and a clementine (not enough energy to make the hummus myself which is the best hummus to eat but the second best... Sabra Original. I am very picky about hummus and this is the best store brand I have ever had. AND, I actually found a big tub of it at Sam's Club of all places (they also have a roasted red pepper flavor for those of you who don't have a bell pepper allergy like me!)

So, this just looked so beautiful when I sat down to eat it that I had to take a picture! While I ate it I thought of my very good friend, Sara. We used to eat a lot of lunches like this together long ago. I sure do wish we lived closer. BUT, 2.5 hours away from each other is pretty darn good compared to some of you good friends out there!

I hope this will help you enjoy some healthy eats and recognize how beautiful they are!


And, some beautiful, white diapers on the line catching some sun rays! I have to send a big thank you out to a friend, Ann Marie. She has passed these wonderful cloth diapers down to me called Motherease which I LOVE! They have been easy to use, care for and they have really increased Zane's potty awareness! It is not that I was not using cloth before (we use them at home mostly) but we were using the G Diapers with cloth inserts. They were great, but their is something about these that I just love! AND they were in beautiful shape and she said they had been through her two kids and many of her girlfriends. SO, I just had to inquire about her secret to cloth diaper care. Well, come to find out it is a natural detergent through this company called Malaluca! It really is great and has kept these diapers in really great shape! Again, thank you, thank you, Ann Marie. You really have no idea how much I appreciate this gift! I LOVE them!!! (I think Paul even really likes them. I think he likes them better than the G's! Less to deal with I guess!)


And, ever wonder how those chickens are doing? Well, they are growing SO FAST! It is unbelievable! They got so big in such a short time! Still no eggs. Hopefully in another month we will have that. In the meantime, they eat like CRAZY! We are so anxious to have fresh eggs! We can't wait!

What do you do?

Conversations with our 21 month old...

kiddo (while holding a small play VW bus, pulling the door open and pointing to the drivers seat): "In. Dive (meaning "drive"). Seat. (looks at me)

me: "yes, that is were you would sit to drive the bus."

kiddo: "In. Dive. In. Dive. In. Seat. Dive." (starting to get hysterical)

me: (finally realizing what he is trying to communicate... i think) "Oh! No, honey, you can not drive that bus because you are too big and the play bus is too small for you to fit in."

kiddo: (crying) "In! Dive! In! Dive! In! Dive! In. Dive! In! Dive!" (while jamming his finger over and over into the bus through the door)

me: "See how this is so small? See how big Zane is? Mommy can not even drive this car. It is too small for Mommy to get in.

kiddo: "IN! DIVE! IN! DIVE!"

Then, TOTAL MELT DOWN. Uncontrollable crying.
Daddy and Mommy look at each other with such lose.

The next day...
While playing with furniture in the dollhouse he pulls out the kitchen sink dollhouse toy.
He brings it over to me and is showing it to me and he is showing me the parts of the sink. Then he looks at me and says "Water. On." while he is trying to turn the faucet. "Water. On!" (little bit of crying while I explain to him that it is a toy, pretend sink. Finally he gives up THANKFULLY without a meltdown. Whew!!!

Rainy Days...

Last week we had an unbelievable amount of rain. It just NEVER stopped. It started on Saturday and did not let up until Wednesday! It got so old. Normally I LOVE it when it rains. That constant pitter-patter kind of rain. We have aluminum storm shutters on our house that hang all the time over our windows. They are great because not only do they keep our house shady, they provide beautiful music during rain storms. Well, for the first time ever since being in this house... I got annoyed. After so many days of no sun and not being able to get Zane outside, we were restless. Zane was VERY restless and by the last couple of days, he seemed to be upset all the time!


Snuggling with Momma. He LOVES blankets and he piled up so many for us. It was so cute. We have to have about 8 blankets on us in this picture. He just laid there for the longest time just chatting with me. Gotta love the snuggling!


I got Zane a picnic set from Target a few weeks ago. I was looking for some play plates and silverware to go with his kitchen. He is REALLY starting to pretend and it is so fun! This picnic set was awesome because it came with plates, cups, silverware, cloth tablecloth, and cloth napkins. He loves "setting" the table and feeding us play food! He also loves to feed his play rocking moose. It almost always has some type of food in front of it. The moose NEVER goes hungry!




Rainy days at the play spot in the mall. Daddy and I just had to get the kid somewhere he could run around!

SIKE!!!

The Belly Slap!

Pony Boy

Well, it actually happened! Zane had his first pony ride today! Well, Maggie is not quite a pony but she will certainly do! We took Zane over to Mimi's house because we wanted Zane to see her actually ride a horse. It was really a beautiful morning! I pried my two lovely boys out of bed, we got ready and headed to Mimi's house. Paul and I took coffee and sat on lawn chairs under a tree and it was wonderful!

So... Zane got up and actually rode with Mom on the horse!!! It was so amazing and cute and cool! He did so well and sat so still and held on and then asked for MORE!!!

I will let the pics and videos tell the rest of the story!








Watching Mimi


The First Ride!!


Again!

Update...

Well, this will be of course the first one that pops up on people's screens but please, scroll down first because I just posted some fun, happy posts with some great pictures!

Like I said on one of the other posts, this has been a GOOD week. The nausea medicine on the last chemo worked so I was just down and exhausted. It lasts about a full week. Thursday I get the chemo and feel ok...


(side note interruption: Chemo... takes about 3.5ish hours total. I check in at the lab and pick up about 4 empty vials. I take them to my oncology nurse and she (using the port) draws my blood. I sit and wait for a short time while they process my blood work (yes, that fast! I never would have guessed before this that a lab could do anything that fast!). Then I go to meet with Dr. Morris and go over how I have been doing, the blood work and he checks the heart and so on. Then I go back to the chemo room (chemo room: this is a room of about 8 chairs. the last time it was FULL. It is the hardest part of the whole thing because you get to see, meet and talk to so many people going through so many different cancers. It is good because it helps me put things in perspective but also very difficult because it is depressing.) and get my chemo, one bag of stuff after the other! That part takes about 2.5hrs. Then I am outta there!)


Then Friday I am ok and functional. Just tired.


Saturday & Sunday I am down. It is almost like I have the flu. The actual best description I have been able to come up with for people is that is is like I have a bad hangover that doesn't go away. Like when you wake up after a night of good partying and you can not put a thought together, you can not wake up and you keep thinking about the moment when you can go back to bed, your stomach doesn't feel right and your head hurts like a bomb went off and your eyes burn cause you smoked too many cigs or was in a smokey bar. So that is sort of how I feel BUT I don't get the fun night of partying the night before AND it doesn't go away after a day of nursing yourself back to sober life. What a bummer.


Anyway, Monday and Tuesday are filled with ups and downs. I could wake up and feel ok. Then a couple hours later I have to hibernate in bed for a while. Then up and down and up and down.


Then Wednesday I start to get a glimpse of feeling a little more together.


Then Thursday the switch is turned on and I can feel a bit normal again and get back to a (sort of) normal life.


So that is what it has been like in a nutshell. All this could change on me at any time. I personally hope that it stays this way (or gets better of course... yeah right!). It has been nice to have a week of feeling good to get myself back together and gathering the guts to get back in there and do it again. Tomorrow is my next one (3rd of 8 treatments).


Oh! And today was a big day. I have been losing my hair quite a bit lately. I have been going back and forth as to what to do with it. Today I went to get it cut. I just couldn't go completely bald right off the bat. One thing about me is that I function better if I can do big things in stages. So I got a pixie cut. My hair has not been this short since I was probably 5! It feels so weird and the bangs actually drive me crazy (I haven't had bangs since probably I was 10!). They constantly tickle my forehead! But, like anything, I will get used to it. My Mom went with me which was great and then we went to lunch after. Made it all a little easier.


Some of you will enjoy a good laugh... (but not like the one you will have when (if) I have to go bald!)

So I wanted to get some of this posted before tomorrow because I don't know when I will get it together again to post. Love to all and have some fun... make cookies, finger paint and shuck corn!

My Band

The other bestest day!

The thing so far for me has been that one week after chemo, it is like a switched turned and I all of the sudden feel (relatively) normal. So when that happens, you know me, I go go go! I get things done, have fun and of course, take naps (they are essential now).

So, yesterday, Zane and I had some alone time again and after he woke up from his nap we made peanut butter cookies! He had so much fun measuring and stirring and using the hand-mixer.

We then got ready for dinner with Mimi and Papa and went outside and shucked corn. He was such a good helper! I just love these pictures. He is so happy and having so much fun!

Then he got some play time with Mimi & Papa!

A couple bestest days!

Well, a couple days this week Zane and I had some uninterrupted fun time. This has been hard to come by lately. Not that we don't have fun but we have just had so much going on that our "normal" days have been a little jumbled.

So, on Monday we explored the world of finger painting for the first time! It was so much fun and Zane made three beautiful pieces of artwork (one being made for his Uncle Ben and Aunt Rachael as a housewarming present... it is just oversized and I just have to figure out how to get it to them!). He had so much fun and I had so much fun watching him and "helping" him. It was super easy to clean up after too, despite what it looks like!

He was concentrating so hard at times!

Then I started asking him to smile for the camera... this is what I got (I could harldy take the pics I was laughing so hard!)

The Tampa Aquarium

This last weekend we got to spend a weekend away! Thanks to my Mom and friends, Beth and Brian, we were able to escape our home (FINALLY... it has been a while!) and go and visit Sara, Sam and Maya in Clearwater (FINALLY!). Sara is 29 weeks pregnant (with a girl, maybe!) and very beautiful and very tired. She is doing a fabulous job, though, keeping herself going and taking care of a 2.5yr. old!

Here are some fun pics of our visit on Saturday to The Tampa Aquarium (very fun place and highly recommended for the kids!).


He was so into everything!


Check out that owl behind us!


I just think this is the cutest picture!





Sara and I checking our "moods." (Just look at that beautiful belly!)











This is the #1 photo of the weekend! Could they be any cuter?!?


He spent most of the time just staring into tanks and he just said "fish, fish, fish" over and over again! It was really a lot of fun for all of us.


This is a video that Paul took of the CRAZIEST seahorse I have ever seen!! It was so unbelievably beautiful!

MOVIES!!

They are a few weeks old but just so cute!!