Just a quick one

I just thought I would try and get on here to give a little recap of what is going on.

I had a PET Scan on Tuesday which is the scan that is to tell the real tale. It was not all the news that we had hoped for. I am all clear in my chest but I still have some areas behind my collar bone.

To back up a little bit, I had my 8th treatment on Sept. 25th. It was supposed to be one week before that but Dr. Morris postponed it for a week because I have been having some heart problems. I saw a heart specialist and they ran a gammut of tests and so far everything seems ok. So, on with the chemo. But, during the 8th treatment (which if we all remember was supposed to be my last), he added on 2 more treatments (making it a total of 10 instead). This took us all a bit to process but I guess I always know that nothing was written in stone and he did tell me in the beginning that it could be more. I just honestly in my own naive way thought that after my super positive CT Scan have way through that everything was going to go the way it was planned.

Boy have I been wrong about that one.

So, the 8th treatment hit me really hard. Much harder to recover from in every way but I have so much wonderful help. But it was even more discouraging to have all my expected things to go all wacky all of the sudden. (Mostly, all of you our there know that I like to know exactly what is going to happen and be in so much control. Control. Ha! Have not had much of that for many months now.)

Anyway (boy this is longer that we all thought it would be? - the blog entry, I mean!) I went in this last Thursday for my 9th treatment and to learn the results of this PET Scan. So the more news of it all is that he added on a additional 2 more treatments PLUS I am to make up the two bleomycim treatments that I missed earlier because of the problems with my lung function AND for sure I am getting radiation (still don't know how long).

SO all in all he has added on 6 more treatments for me (the last two being only one of the drugs). This in a timeline adds on 3 more months of treatments for me assuming that I handle everything ok (heart and lungs) and they stay on track of every two weeks.

This last visit with the doctor has amazingly been the worst one yet to deal with and process. I am trying to stay positive but of course you begin to question... everything.
Not that time is important in the grand scheme of things I of course had this mental goal of being through this by Christmas and for sure by the beginning of this new year. If all goes in a timely fashion, this doesn't finish me up till end of January sometime. Into 2009. What can you do?

And it is just getting tiring. Every chemo is getting tougher on my body. I no longer will drive myself home from the chemo treatments because after the 8th treatment I realized that I get way too out of it (probably from the steroids). So, that gets a little frustrating.

Sorry if this entry is a little blah. I feel a little blah. But it will get better, I do know that.
Zane has a big 2 year birthday coming up that we can throw ourselves into. Spoil my little beautiful ray of sunshine! He is so bright and so good and deserves all sorts of spoiling from me!

Love you all for checking in and for all your help and offers for help!
Thank you for phone calls that I may never have returned. It is not because I don't appreciate them, things just get a little crazy.

Hope all is well with everyone out there!